I’m suddenly being reminded, not of Coinbase’s missteps, but of the good times. The boring times. The times when Coinbase did absolutely nothing.
The times when, for instance, CEO Brian Armstrong didn’t secretly send my money to an affiliated hedge fund. Or the time he didn’t gamble my funds away on his own exchange, then go to India and die in possession of the only keys to what was left over. Or the time he didn’t lie about Coinbase’s finances. Or the time his entire system didn’t collapse and he didn’t flee to Serbia.
In short, whatever the missteps as Coinbase found its way, Brian Armstrong never stole from me. That should be a very low bar, but apparently not. I was busy demanding Coinbase become an exemplary company when it seems I should have settled for being able to trust it with a tiny sliver of my assets.
‘Enforcement 40’ for 2020
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